excelsior

lana sang me home as i rocked side to side  on the train back my pen dancing across  the page  like a  ballerina  in the moonlight  trying to convey the  midnight pools that have their cool, dark depths  within  me. lost within myself  the conductor blares not my stop not my line  i jump off  shocked back into  reality  all magic dissipating slowly  as i wait  for my train to asphodel  the only lingering  echo is the faint voice  of  angels.

i can say  i know what i want  kindness  mercy humor i can say  i know what i like handsome tall  strong  i can say i know who i am proud  beautiful  free  but i don't truly  know myself  i haven't  lived, learnt, or loved  how could i ever  know you or  the you i need  if we're both lost